Personality of God

I think I often forget that God is a person. I grew up seeing God as very complex equation. Most of this belief derived from the idea that God never changes. In that sense, if someone were to ask God for, let’s say, rain, 3000 years ago, and if I were to ask for it today, He would answer the same. This seemed logical to me and it made it easy to say view God as some kind of machine. This idealism got shattered, however, when I look at Abraham persuading God’s heart¹. If God were not at all changing, you would not be able to change His mind. Seeing as these two things are contradictory, and the Bible is never contradictory, I have to reexamine how I am interpreting God’s word. Could it be possible that God not changing has more to do with His overall heart? That He will never stop loving, He will always have compassion, He will always chase after His creation? In that sense, could it be possible that God actually has favorites? I think back to the creation story and God creating the Heavens and the Earth. When we look at the word for Heaven, the author of Genesis is actually referring to all that is outside our atmosphere. I just imagine God moving through our universe, through our galaxies, and clusters of galaxies, adding stars here and there wherever He sees pleasing. Seeing as God has personality, I really believe that He may have clusters of stars that he likes better than others, not saying that he doesn’t like His creation, just that He likes some better than others. Favoritism doesn’t seem to be a popular concept among Christians, yet I feel like those that lived in Moses’ time must have felt that God favored Moses, and God picked Noah and his family, so God must pick and choose. This, for me, places God into a different light. Instead of Him being some kind of crazy equation that sees all things equal, I see a God of personality, a true person. In this sense, I feel that I can act like Abraham when he changes God’s mind: that my prayer can actually make a difference on God’s actions. That is a powerful prayer. This means that even on the things that seem destined for a certain outcome can be altered by prayers. This also means that when I look at God, just like I will never be able to completely figure out anyone’s every thought and likes and dislikes, I will never be completely satisfied with my knowledge of Him. There will always be a deeper path to go, more to know, more to search. When I went out on the retreat I realized that God, being a personality, wanted me to just get to know Him. He didn’t want me to try to figure out some equation, just wanted me to learn Him. This is a God worth chasing.

¹Genesis 18:16, NIV

Autumn Leaves Changing

I promised that while I was out on Fall Break, I would give a little update on how college is going and how life has been out in Minnesota. I hope you guys enjoy and hopefully I can hear how all of you are doing.

Currently, I am sitting by a warm fire in a small cabin in the middle of the forest somewhere in Wisconsin. I wish I could somehow explain how peaceful it truly is out here. It took a few hours to come out here, and during our drive it was almost surreal how my heart was changing paces from a high intensity to a calm relaxed feel. My heart seemed to change with the leaves on the side of the road, moving from normal to a brilliance of colors. It is interesting to me that throughout the year we pass by trees, yet most often we decide to stop and take our time when the leaves change. This describes how I am feeling this long weekend—to stop—and breath.

College Life, though amazing, is no different in the sense of how hard I run. I am not one to take anything light. I right away started with more than enough credits, I am constantly trying to balance homework with friends, because we always want to do something exciting and adventurous. Though this is all good, it is hard for someone like me to get away. Whether it is people finding me when I slip away, or me not willing to slip away on fear of missing out on something, I get pretty caught up in life. This is why this weekend is so valuable to me; to just get away and spend time in thought and in His presence.

One of the things I am looking forward to most this weekend is an assignment from my leadership class. The assignment consists of each person taking four hours out of a week and go out, away from the world. No cell phone, no music, no friends, only our Bibles and Journals and an open heart. The point is to spend time with Him, real time with Him. See, recently, I have had a yearning to hear God’s voice. I used to believe that hearing God’s voice was for Moses and Abraham, but never for someone like me, yet I am finding that is false. Yet, I don’t believe it will just happen, that one day I will just wake up and hear it—unless he really needs me to hear something. I think that we have to earnestly seek after Him, and as we draw near to Him, He will draw closer to us. So that is my hope, that I will better be able to hear His will for me and what I am meant to do for Him. I don’t expect that all things will just be revealed to me because I am out for four hours, but I do believe He will speak to me and if I continue doing this, I will be able to hear and understand Him better and better.

As I look out the two largest windows of the cabin, I can’t help but see how God wants to change me. On the tree to the left I see all green, which is very healthy. Green is a very normal color for trees to be. Yet, as I look out the window on the right, I see a tree lit up by oranges and yellows and everything in between. The autumn tree on the right is soaked in sunlight while there is little light on the left. This just reminds me how when we truly step into God’s presence, into His light, we are drastically changed. We are turned into a swirl of beauty—something that people can’t ignore. I guess that is my biggest hope for this retreat is that I come back orange, red, and yellow, broken, yet whole.