Balancing Act 101

Each semester I am learning more and more what it looks like to make sure I live a life that has some balance to it.


This is really interesting to me because i have heard pastors on both sides of the fence. Some would say that you should definitely maintain a balanced walk with God. They would say that it is dishonoring to God to focus your attention too much on one thing, or neglect something else.


On the other hand:


Some would say that God requires of us an unbalanced life. That by nature, we should be so focused on God that we are willing to let other things that are less important out of our grip.


So which is it?


So here, I find myself in close proximity to a paradox. Am I attempting to find balance within searching for a balanced life? 


Yet, either way, I still do see that i am not in balance. It has been very difficult this year to make sure that I am always using my time wisely. Even beyond this, I also have had a struggle of knowing what to give my time to.


College is a time of ample opportunities, which can be good and bad all at the same time.


So then, as approaching the time when we make resolutions that we don't hold to. We also see an opportunity around this time for new starts. 


So then, what should I do? Should I be careful with my time making sure i am completely balanced, or should I just live, taking opportunities as they present themselves and not worrying if some neglecting happens?


Or maybe its not one or the other? 
Maybe just a balance?

Change Your Church For Good by Brad Powell

Change Your Church for Good is about how to go about changing your church and making it more of a church that God would desire. He offers some great advice especially in the midst of soft and easy Christianity, however when reading Change Your Church for Good, it was actually very difficult to agree with everything that Powell had to say. Many of his claims seemed to be how we can change the Church, and leaves a very small emphasis on the Holy Spirit bring the change. Though I do believe that there needs to be a high emphasis on us doing our part and not being lazy, I wouldn't recommend this to someone who believes that they can do it on their own. This would only feed to their egotism and their pride. Overall, it is a 3 star book for me. I wouldn't go out and buy this book, but if I received it as a gift, I would say it is worth reading.

Personality of God

I think I often forget that God is a person. I grew up seeing God as very complex equation. Most of this belief derived from the idea that God never changes. In that sense, if someone were to ask God for, let’s say, rain, 3000 years ago, and if I were to ask for it today, He would answer the same. This seemed logical to me and it made it easy to say view God as some kind of machine. This idealism got shattered, however, when I look at Abraham persuading God’s heart¹. If God were not at all changing, you would not be able to change His mind. Seeing as these two things are contradictory, and the Bible is never contradictory, I have to reexamine how I am interpreting God’s word. Could it be possible that God not changing has more to do with His overall heart? That He will never stop loving, He will always have compassion, He will always chase after His creation? In that sense, could it be possible that God actually has favorites? I think back to the creation story and God creating the Heavens and the Earth. When we look at the word for Heaven, the author of Genesis is actually referring to all that is outside our atmosphere. I just imagine God moving through our universe, through our galaxies, and clusters of galaxies, adding stars here and there wherever He sees pleasing. Seeing as God has personality, I really believe that He may have clusters of stars that he likes better than others, not saying that he doesn’t like His creation, just that He likes some better than others. Favoritism doesn’t seem to be a popular concept among Christians, yet I feel like those that lived in Moses’ time must have felt that God favored Moses, and God picked Noah and his family, so God must pick and choose. This, for me, places God into a different light. Instead of Him being some kind of crazy equation that sees all things equal, I see a God of personality, a true person. In this sense, I feel that I can act like Abraham when he changes God’s mind: that my prayer can actually make a difference on God’s actions. That is a powerful prayer. This means that even on the things that seem destined for a certain outcome can be altered by prayers. This also means that when I look at God, just like I will never be able to completely figure out anyone’s every thought and likes and dislikes, I will never be completely satisfied with my knowledge of Him. There will always be a deeper path to go, more to know, more to search. When I went out on the retreat I realized that God, being a personality, wanted me to just get to know Him. He didn’t want me to try to figure out some equation, just wanted me to learn Him. This is a God worth chasing.

¹Genesis 18:16, NIV

Autumn Leaves Changing

I promised that while I was out on Fall Break, I would give a little update on how college is going and how life has been out in Minnesota. I hope you guys enjoy and hopefully I can hear how all of you are doing.

Currently, I am sitting by a warm fire in a small cabin in the middle of the forest somewhere in Wisconsin. I wish I could somehow explain how peaceful it truly is out here. It took a few hours to come out here, and during our drive it was almost surreal how my heart was changing paces from a high intensity to a calm relaxed feel. My heart seemed to change with the leaves on the side of the road, moving from normal to a brilliance of colors. It is interesting to me that throughout the year we pass by trees, yet most often we decide to stop and take our time when the leaves change. This describes how I am feeling this long weekend—to stop—and breath.

College Life, though amazing, is no different in the sense of how hard I run. I am not one to take anything light. I right away started with more than enough credits, I am constantly trying to balance homework with friends, because we always want to do something exciting and adventurous. Though this is all good, it is hard for someone like me to get away. Whether it is people finding me when I slip away, or me not willing to slip away on fear of missing out on something, I get pretty caught up in life. This is why this weekend is so valuable to me; to just get away and spend time in thought and in His presence.

One of the things I am looking forward to most this weekend is an assignment from my leadership class. The assignment consists of each person taking four hours out of a week and go out, away from the world. No cell phone, no music, no friends, only our Bibles and Journals and an open heart. The point is to spend time with Him, real time with Him. See, recently, I have had a yearning to hear God’s voice. I used to believe that hearing God’s voice was for Moses and Abraham, but never for someone like me, yet I am finding that is false. Yet, I don’t believe it will just happen, that one day I will just wake up and hear it—unless he really needs me to hear something. I think that we have to earnestly seek after Him, and as we draw near to Him, He will draw closer to us. So that is my hope, that I will better be able to hear His will for me and what I am meant to do for Him. I don’t expect that all things will just be revealed to me because I am out for four hours, but I do believe He will speak to me and if I continue doing this, I will be able to hear and understand Him better and better.

As I look out the two largest windows of the cabin, I can’t help but see how God wants to change me. On the tree to the left I see all green, which is very healthy. Green is a very normal color for trees to be. Yet, as I look out the window on the right, I see a tree lit up by oranges and yellows and everything in between. The autumn tree on the right is soaked in sunlight while there is little light on the left. This just reminds me how when we truly step into God’s presence, into His light, we are drastically changed. We are turned into a swirl of beauty—something that people can’t ignore. I guess that is my biggest hope for this retreat is that I come back orange, red, and yellow, broken, yet whole.

Who's your God?

Let's talk Christianity.

True Christianity.

What is the point? What is the purpose? Where is God active? Where isn't God active? Where is God willing to display His amazing power that consumes His word?

Let's take everything we grew up with, everything that our parents taught us, anything your Church has spoken to you and set it aside for a moment.

It will still be there after.

If you still want it.

This weekend I have been completely challenged. To the very core of my being. When that happened, I was forced to asked myself and God exactly what I believe. And by the end it became very evident what I have been missing.

Knowing God.

Yeah, I know, it sounds so simple, right? Yet, the call that Jesus gave to His disciples is becoming more and more real to me. Which can be scary.

Very

very

scary.

If God said, "You're family won't agree with you and will disown you," would you still go? If God said, "I have plans for your life that are going to be harder than you can even imagine, but I will be with you always," would you still go?

I used to always say, "Yes".

Cause that was right.

Cause I didn't know what it meant.

God is beginning to challenge me to really believe that His call could demand people to hate me, even to my family. That if He said I wouldn't have a wife, that I would need to accept that. That rocked me.

To the core.

Imagine if you will that God comes to you tomorrow and says that you will be a prophet. And with that, you are going to have to say some really hard stuff to people. Truth that people are not going to want to hear.

Even your family.

In fact, God let's you know that for the next two years, your family will stop speaking to you. That they would be so rocked by the truth that they would show anger towards you and hurt. Would you still go?

Now, some of you are thinking what I was thinking. God would never have you do anything against your own family. Yet, Jesus, when his family comes, says, "Who is my mother, who are my brothers? Those that do the will of my father is my mother and my brother" How hurt did His mother and brothers feel at the time?

Jesus requires sacrifice.

Living sacrifice,

holy and pleasing

to

Him.

So then the question can expand. This is where we get to the heart of the weekend.

The heart of the change.

What do we desire?

Do we desire a Church that sings and reaches out to the city? Because that is good, right? Yet, "good" is the adversary for "right". Please, don't get me wrong. That Church could be right.

It could.

But more than that, should we not desire for the very presence of God? Should we not desire to hear His voice?

I am not talking a mumbled, foggy, distant voice.

I am talking burning bush, on the mount,

holy

clear

voice.

Why is God not pouring out like we see in Acts? Because we are not intentional.

period.

How long does it take to clearly understand a friend? 5 minutes in the morning?

Come on!

God is looking for us to stop playing games, to quit believing that just because we go to Church and tithe that we are somehow giving Him what He wants.

He wants me.

He wants your friend.

He wants you.

He so desires for you to see Him as a dad, and to see yourself as His kid.

That means coming into His presence willing at heart, "not my will, but yours be done"

But more than that,

believe it.

God doesn't care about your words, He wants your actions.

He wants you.

This takes us to the core of it. The foundation.

The framework.

God has been rebuilding my framework after taking it down. See, I grew up in a Christian home, went to church, was involved in all the good stuff. Yet, God says, "So what?" God isn't looking for another "church goer." He has too many of those on His hands as it is. God wants people that desire Him first.

Truly desire Him first.

When we allow ourselves to really, truly, fully fall in love with Him. There is no telling what He might decide to do. God is a God of power. A God that loves to display His glory. So you are wondering where healing are? You wondering where the prophets reside? Are you wondering where the pillar of fire is at?

How about God wondering where you are at?

God is going to work through those that allow it, yet so few are willing anymore to say, "God, you do what you need to do, I give (literally) everything up, so you can now use me however you would like"

When we are willing to say that and mean it, and when we truly walk in the presence of God and hear Him clearly. Oh wow, there is no stopping Him.

You want to impact the enemy?

Let's do it.

But

God wants you.

This has been so hard because in all honesty, I don't want to give some stuff up. Are you kidding me? The possibility of no family? The possibility of my family leaving me? My friends deserting me. It takes a lot to trust that God is sufficient enough to take away my insecurities and to take care of me. Yet, over this weekend I feel like I am learning to take that first step.

I feel as though God is capturing me and I am letting Him.

Which is so good.

Hard

but good.

I know that the next couple of years of my life are going to look very differently than I thought they would when I first arrived here. Yet, God is good, all the time-and all the time, God is good. So, now I am just falling in love with my creator. Trying to hear the voice of God. Trying to become sensitive to what the Spirit is doing. Trying not to do what is "good", but to only do what is "right" Because sometimes God wants to give us something better than just "good"

I want to be an open vessel for God.

So, there it is. Your beliefs are right there. The question is, does God want more from you? All of you?

And I mean ALL.

Are you willing to throw everything that you have been brought up with and replace it with what God says is right? Cause lets face it, if it is from God, He will give it right back. But let's allow Him to remove anything that is not pleasing to Him.

Let's see what God is able to do through us when we are willing.

We are currently in transition....

If you asked me a month ago where my heart would be at, I wouldn't have been able to tell you at all that I would be where I am today.

Consumed with God.

I always find it fascinating that I am willing to place my relationship with God into a box with a glass ceiling. I thought the "Moses" relationship with God was something for the very elect.

The ones who had burning bushes.

The ones who had the mountain.

Not the anybodies of our world.

Yet, it seems as though God is calling all those who want Him to draw nearer. He is willing to speak to those who want to listen. He wants to use those who are willing to be used.

Not just the elect.

The anybodies.

This began to rock my world from last Saturday, finding that God is more personable than I have ever allowed myself to think. Suddenly the thought that God knows every hair on my head became reality. It isn't metaphorical , it is fact.

God does care.

A lot.

He wants each of us to seek him in ways that you have always thought of, but never believed.

He wants to use our belief to make an impact for His kingdom. Make a jab at the enemy and allow God to triumph over all.

This means sacrifice.

Real sacrifice.

No holding back from God, not pretending that we can hide anything, because we can't. God is God and he knows our heart, so instead of fleeing from Him and all He has to offer, we get to run.

Sprint.

God wants everything.

Yes, that does mean relationships.

Yes, that does me pride.

Yes, it means your heart, your thoughts, your work, your thoughts, your time, your love, your praise, your sin, your mistakes, he wants us to trust Him in everything.

Every moment there is a situation which is out of our control is a chance to grow. It is a not an opportunity to worry but instead say, "God, you got this"

If you want to find times where God doesn't come through, try not trusting Him. If you don't allow God to work through you, he won't. But trusting that God is, and will take care of you, whether the outcome is "bad" or "good", is beginning to have a real relationship with God and not some distant looking-upon of some god.

He wants us.

All of us.

That has been a challenge, giving my heart up daily. Trying not to hide from God. Willing to say, "Your will be done-even to death itself"

So growth, is healthy. Change can be good. God is Good, and He is helping me to grow. My hope is that God is becoming more real,

more apparent,

more active in your walk.

And that sacrifice would come in order for His will to be done-

even to death itself.

New To Crown

Talk about crazy. I am currently sitting in my dorm room for the year chillin on my mac after a great day of registering. I think the weirdest piece of this whole thing is that it feels so natural. I can't imagine myself being anywhere else. At any rate, moving in was great, I am really near Drew which is tight. At any rate, i think i am going to hit the hay, but I wanted you to know if you live in Oregon, i miss you guys. oh, and here is a picture of my dorm room!

Love you guys