Autumn Leaves Changing

I promised that while I was out on Fall Break, I would give a little update on how college is going and how life has been out in Minnesota. I hope you guys enjoy and hopefully I can hear how all of you are doing.

Currently, I am sitting by a warm fire in a small cabin in the middle of the forest somewhere in Wisconsin. I wish I could somehow explain how peaceful it truly is out here. It took a few hours to come out here, and during our drive it was almost surreal how my heart was changing paces from a high intensity to a calm relaxed feel. My heart seemed to change with the leaves on the side of the road, moving from normal to a brilliance of colors. It is interesting to me that throughout the year we pass by trees, yet most often we decide to stop and take our time when the leaves change. This describes how I am feeling this long weekend—to stop—and breath.

College Life, though amazing, is no different in the sense of how hard I run. I am not one to take anything light. I right away started with more than enough credits, I am constantly trying to balance homework with friends, because we always want to do something exciting and adventurous. Though this is all good, it is hard for someone like me to get away. Whether it is people finding me when I slip away, or me not willing to slip away on fear of missing out on something, I get pretty caught up in life. This is why this weekend is so valuable to me; to just get away and spend time in thought and in His presence.

One of the things I am looking forward to most this weekend is an assignment from my leadership class. The assignment consists of each person taking four hours out of a week and go out, away from the world. No cell phone, no music, no friends, only our Bibles and Journals and an open heart. The point is to spend time with Him, real time with Him. See, recently, I have had a yearning to hear God’s voice. I used to believe that hearing God’s voice was for Moses and Abraham, but never for someone like me, yet I am finding that is false. Yet, I don’t believe it will just happen, that one day I will just wake up and hear it—unless he really needs me to hear something. I think that we have to earnestly seek after Him, and as we draw near to Him, He will draw closer to us. So that is my hope, that I will better be able to hear His will for me and what I am meant to do for Him. I don’t expect that all things will just be revealed to me because I am out for four hours, but I do believe He will speak to me and if I continue doing this, I will be able to hear and understand Him better and better.

As I look out the two largest windows of the cabin, I can’t help but see how God wants to change me. On the tree to the left I see all green, which is very healthy. Green is a very normal color for trees to be. Yet, as I look out the window on the right, I see a tree lit up by oranges and yellows and everything in between. The autumn tree on the right is soaked in sunlight while there is little light on the left. This just reminds me how when we truly step into God’s presence, into His light, we are drastically changed. We are turned into a swirl of beauty—something that people can’t ignore. I guess that is my biggest hope for this retreat is that I come back orange, red, and yellow, broken, yet whole.

We are currently in transition....

If you asked me a month ago where my heart would be at, I wouldn't have been able to tell you at all that I would be where I am today.

Consumed with God.

I always find it fascinating that I am willing to place my relationship with God into a box with a glass ceiling. I thought the "Moses" relationship with God was something for the very elect.

The ones who had burning bushes.

The ones who had the mountain.

Not the anybodies of our world.

Yet, it seems as though God is calling all those who want Him to draw nearer. He is willing to speak to those who want to listen. He wants to use those who are willing to be used.

Not just the elect.

The anybodies.

This began to rock my world from last Saturday, finding that God is more personable than I have ever allowed myself to think. Suddenly the thought that God knows every hair on my head became reality. It isn't metaphorical , it is fact.

God does care.

A lot.

He wants each of us to seek him in ways that you have always thought of, but never believed.

He wants to use our belief to make an impact for His kingdom. Make a jab at the enemy and allow God to triumph over all.

This means sacrifice.

Real sacrifice.

No holding back from God, not pretending that we can hide anything, because we can't. God is God and he knows our heart, so instead of fleeing from Him and all He has to offer, we get to run.

Sprint.

God wants everything.

Yes, that does mean relationships.

Yes, that does me pride.

Yes, it means your heart, your thoughts, your work, your thoughts, your time, your love, your praise, your sin, your mistakes, he wants us to trust Him in everything.

Every moment there is a situation which is out of our control is a chance to grow. It is a not an opportunity to worry but instead say, "God, you got this"

If you want to find times where God doesn't come through, try not trusting Him. If you don't allow God to work through you, he won't. But trusting that God is, and will take care of you, whether the outcome is "bad" or "good", is beginning to have a real relationship with God and not some distant looking-upon of some god.

He wants us.

All of us.

That has been a challenge, giving my heart up daily. Trying not to hide from God. Willing to say, "Your will be done-even to death itself"

So growth, is healthy. Change can be good. God is Good, and He is helping me to grow. My hope is that God is becoming more real,

more apparent,

more active in your walk.

And that sacrifice would come in order for His will to be done-

even to death itself.

New To Crown

Talk about crazy. I am currently sitting in my dorm room for the year chillin on my mac after a great day of registering. I think the weirdest piece of this whole thing is that it feels so natural. I can't imagine myself being anywhere else. At any rate, moving in was great, I am really near Drew which is tight. At any rate, i think i am going to hit the hay, but I wanted you to know if you live in Oregon, i miss you guys. oh, and here is a picture of my dorm room!

Love you guys